I really hope I don’t have to begin this blog explaining that I’m not referring to all black men. I’m strictly talking about Negro men who fit into the category of weak men. Now you may be wondering what qualifies me to make an assertion or classify a brother as weak. After all, there’re plenty of websites, chatrooms, magazines, forums and blogs, full of opinionated (and often frustrated)  black women who claims there’s no good black men; and, because she’s so educated and or successful in corporate America, brothers aren’t on her level. One of the biggest problems in black America is that our women not only determine our manhood (by how many of them we’ve slept with), they define or interpret it. For those who know, raise your hands if you’ve heard a black woman either tell you or some other guy, “You’re not a real man.” It’s as if she wrote the manuscript on black manhood or at least provided a foreword in the book! Moving on, it is my understanding that men set the barometer for manhood, not women. It has been extremely unfortunate for us black men that we have based our manhood, our rite of passage, heck like Memphis Bleek, our “Coming of Age,” based around sexual encounters and conquests with our women. We have become sexual slaves to what’s between our women’s legs and they know it.  Manhood is not simply determined by how much money you make, what job you occupy, or how kids you have and take care of (although these attributes are important btw), but it is how much your woman (get ready) respects and honors you! I know you’re thinking well isn’t that the same thing that you aforementioned above? No. Now follow me as I explain.

Brent Grimes fought his way to earn an NFL contract after being an undrafted free agent in 2006. His situation would begin to improve in 2007 when the Atlanta Falcons picked him up after originally parting ways with him due to a groin injury. Grimes played special teams for the Falcons in the 2007 and 2008 seasons. The very next year, Grimes recorded career-high in interceptions (6) and recorded 66 tackles. Eventually, Grimes got his payday with the Miami Dolphins when he cashed in a $32 million dollar contract ($16 guaranteed) in 2014. However, in light of his success, he had Miko—who wanted the limelight as well. She made herself known when a birthday cake was made showing her explicit talents. Since then, she has made more publicity and social media headway than her husband—a husband she’s nearly 10 years older than. Yes, when you look at this couple you see a boy and his Momma. Is this mic on, you’re seeing a sick Freudian Oedipus complex with Brent and his wife, Miko. After being arrested last year for disorderly conduct and later fired from being the host of 560-WQAM radio show; it was alleged that Brent’s new team, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, told the belligerent Mrs. Grimes to delete her Twitter account. She has since reactivated her account.

I’m only speaking of Brent Grimes because there’s a sickness with many black men and it’s that they have succumbed to being matriarchal. I know you’re thinking, “He brings in the money,” but the problem is his WOMAN leads him. This is very troubling because most women don’t respect a weak man. Men are created to lead, protect, and provide; and in Brent’s case, he does not lead—and Miko knows it and openly doesn’t respect him. Women are created to submit to leadership especially towards their husbands; however, when the man operates outside of his creation-oriented role, the woman becomes the de facto leader even if she has to use her physical “assets” to do it. This seems to be the bases of their marriage as seen on VICE Sports and a birthday cake where Miko is shown performing a sexually explicit act. Apparently, Brent judges his manhood by his sexual prowess and his physical infatuation towards his wife which allows her to control him with it, thus doing whatever the heck she wants on social media and public platforms. But what do expect when she’s nearly ten years his senior.

Speaking of sexual prowess, there’s seems to be immense problem with the Negro athlete even before he reaches the professional NFL/NBA level. While I understand that many of these athletes come from impoverished backgrounds that are headed usually by single mothers; the Negro athlete is basically forced to enter the league (barring how promising his collegiate career was) due to his delinquent sexual behavior. Not excusing the women who many of them are open and secret groupies, but how many times have you’ve seen a Negro athlete on draft day or prior, state he has to go to the league to take care of his family? Now I do understand this assumption could include his direct family, but mostly it’s about him having to take care of a Negro female or two that he has a baby or two by. Notice that when you watch the televised draft that you will hardly ever see white athletes with a newborn child hanging from a girlfriend their mothers arm? Unfortunately, when it comes to the black athlete, there’s a circle full of women, a homeboy or brother and maybe, just maybe, the blacks males step-biological father.

Many black athletes set themselves coming out the gate behind the proverbial eight ball by already having children thinking their illustrious playing careers will last forever. They soon find out that alimony (if they actually get married) and child support last a heck of a lot longer than their careers. This leads me to Landon Collins who is a first year player at safety for the N.Y. Giants. It has been reported from several media outlets that the former Alabama Crimson Tide standout has impregnated 3 different women within days of each other. That’s right people. The 22-year old safety has already placed a future strain on his wallet regardless of how much his rookie salary is. It won’t be enough even IF he lasted past the NFL career average of 3.3 years. Oh, and by the way, he just got engaged; which will probably lead to another child. I guess as many other media outlets have suggested that he will be in the running to dethrone players like Antonio Cromartie, Shawn Kemp, Travis Henry, and Dwight Howard and sadly the list goes on.  Whether they understand it or not, Negro athletes who fit this template of irresponsibility not only hurt themselves financially, but they continue the broken family syndrome; on purpose.

My intent wasn’t to defame or disrespect black athletes when writing this blog. Actually, it took me a few weeks to do it because sexual irresponsibility is something that many of us are guilty of. Again, many of us grow up with a matriarchal mindset so we think we are created to serve to woman’s wants—and we define our manhood and worthiness by it. However, her needs is the core issue and she needs a man to lead and if she has her mind right, she need us as fathers and husbands IN the home. I understand that every relationship is meant to be, but if there’s children involved, there ought to be a balance in parenting. Yet in our current acceptable sexually promiscuous climate, as black men we can ill afford to be irresponsible in the bedroom because the law is set up for the woman to be advantageous and unaccountable. This what makes us weak because when a woman is in perceived power, whether in marriage or not, it goes against the creation-oriented patriarchal role that is destroying the black community. Relax ladies; don’t get bent out of shape because I said a feminist hate word (patriarchal). Men were created to lead, protect, provide and educate; something which is missing when he’s irresponsible with his, well you know. Peace y’all!

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