All posts by jjermane80

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About jjermane80

I'm not considered the average because I love being a introvert! However, since I like honest discourse, I find myself engaging in healthy productive conversations. Never ashamed to speak on social-political issues. From Columbus, Ohio, I spend most of my time reading and posting comments on vlogs by way of You Tube and Twitter. Lover of God and Fatherhood, outside of blogging I enjoy watching and reading documentaries and historic events.

“The Failure At Ferguson”

jjermane80's avatar#PaperlessThoughts80

Outrage In Missouri Town After Police Shooting Of 18-Yr-Old Man

I often wonder why when black people come together after an act of injustice it’s always based around the same political, racial narrative. You know the narrative that whenever someone who is opposite of African-American descent or let’s just be honest; “anyone classified as a white male” narrative. But it becomes another heightened level of scrutiny when the individual in question is a white male police officer. Such is the case we have in Ferguson, Mo over the weekend involving an officer shooting and killing an unarmed young adult, 18-year-old Michael Brown. Here is an excerpt from CNN.com from a witness who was with Brown at the time of the shooting:

Dorian Johnson, 22, told CNN that he and Brown were walking in the middle of the street when a white male officer pulled up and told them, “Get the f*** on the sidewalk.” The young men replied that they…

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“The Failure At Ferguson”

Outrage In Missouri Town After Police Shooting Of 18-Yr-Old Man

I often wonder why when black people come together after an act of injustice it’s always based around the same political, racial narrative. You know the narrative that whenever someone who is opposite of African-American descent or let’s just be honest; “anyone classified as a white male” narrative. But it becomes another heightened level of scrutiny when the individual in question is a white male police officer. Such is the case we have in Ferguson, Mo over the weekend involving an officer shooting and killing an unarmed young adult, 18-year-old Michael Brown. Here is an excerpt from CNN.com from a witness who was with Brown at the time of the shooting:

Dorian Johnson, 22, told CNN that he and Brown were walking in the middle of the street when a white male officer pulled up and told them, “Get the f*** on the sidewalk.” The young men replied that they were “not but a minute away from our destination, and we would shortly be out of the street,” Johnson said.

The officer drove forward but stopped and backed up, almost hitting the pair, Johnson said.

“We were so close, almost inches away, that when he tried to open his door aggressively, the door ricocheted both off me and Big Mike’s body and closed back on the officer,” Johnson said.

Still in his car, the officer then grabbed Brown by his neck, Johnson said. Brown tried to pull away, but the officer kept pulling Brown toward him, he said.

The officer drew his weapon, and “he said, ‘I’ll shoot you’ or ‘I’m going to shoot’ ” and almost instantaneously fired his weapon, hitting Brown, Johnson said.

Johnson and a bloodied Brown took off running, and Johnson hid behind the first car he saw, he said. The officer got out of his car (http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/11/us/missouri-ferguson-michael-brown-what-we-know/).

Johnson continued to express that the officer followed Brown firing several more shots even after the victim tried to get away. The authorities, however, tell a different story in which Brown physically assaulted the police officer by pushing him into the officer’s vehicle; which at one point, lead to a struggle for the officer’s weapon. This would eventually lead to the officer retaliating by firing multiple shots at Brown killing him outside of an apartment complex this past Saturday. All of this “allegedly” was stemmed from the fact that Brown was a possible suspect from a shoplifting incident. Brown, who was slated to start college this week, was seen being cooperative with the authorities several eyewitnesses stated at the scene, but the police have yet to confirm these allegations. Later Sunday evening, a memorial and prayer vigil were held to honor and remember the slain young man and many in the neighborhood showed up to give their condolences. What took place immediately after the vigil; however, became what I call a “tragedy within itself.”

What began as a memorial and prayer vigil for yet another unarmed African-American male, turned not only the suburb of Ferguson upside down, but transfixed the eyes of America in the process. Citizens from Ferguson and neighboring communities took to the streets in what could only be reminiscent of the 92’ L.A. riots. Several stores became targets for looting and vandalism as citizens burglarized and took everything from beauty supplies, car rims, alcohol, to black America’s favorite shoes: Air Jordan’s. Hoards of young adults filled the streets as local law enforcement had to request back up from neighboring precincts. Angry protesters were met by police in full riot gear armed with everything from rifles, shields, gas masks and dogs. In all, 32 people were reported to be arrested and two officers were injured. History has always had a way of repeating itself; and 50 years later after the historic Civil Rights Act was signed into legislation, the American justice system has been any but “civil.”ferguson-QT

Now before you go dust off your “Straight Outta Compton” cd while chanting “No Justice, No Peace,” I must remind you that I said this is a tragedy within itself. Why does our act of civil disobedience have to result in stealing things that most African-American purchase and consume annually in the first place? Yes, the unidentified officer in my opinion was probably at fault and deserves to be punished to the fullest extent of the law. However, due to the rioting and looting which took place several days prior, the media and to some extent, African-Americans have turned this into a budding race war albeit a war our communities aren’t prepared for. Police brutality seems to be the “clarion call” for black America and further reinforces theories such as Joy DeGruy’s Post Traumatic Slave Disorder and victimology; while further perpetuating an ongoing trend that a black life in America only has value when it’s taken at the hands of someone who’s white. I understand this case has glaring similarities of another African-American male, Eric Gardner, who died (literally) in police custody by way of an illegal chokehold and unlawful force not even a month ago in Staten Island, NY. But I wouldn’t be fair, I wouldn’t be truthful, and most importantly; I wouldn’t be black if I didn’t mention, hell, demand this same type fervor and zeal to be reciprocated in our own communities. And if you’re saying to yourself “Why am I bringing this up?” Damn it because the only time black folks get bold about violence and want justice in our communities is when “The Man” bothers us. It’s dumbfounding to me how we demand answers and badge numbers, yet when it comes to us killing each other we facilitate the “No Snitching” policy. I’m sorry but black America, you can’t have it both ways!

Fortunately, there was one bright spot that has emerged from the protestors efforts with the help of social media. The “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” is starting to catch steam across several cities in America (including my own) and has become more than just a trending topic on Twitter. What started as a hashtag to counter the media’s attempt to show the public demonizing photos of Michael Brown; has become the symbol of injustice and the mantra for change. Although I’m not particularly thrilled to know that Al Sharpton, the NAACP, some New Black Panther Party and the attorney who “allegedly” represented the Trayvon Martin family (while disappearing at the actual trial) Benjamin Crump has made their presence felt in an obvious attempt to incite racism. Nevertheless, there was something else far more egregious that as American citizens (and I use that term loosely) should all be concerned about: the dawn of an eminent, militarized police state. Jesse Jackson was quoted this week in the USA Today saying “There’s a Ferguson near you,” implying there’s tragedies just like this going on in a city near you. It was also another opportunity (as usual) to prioritize the race card and make this case about blacks versus white-cops. The implication that came to my mind wasn’t the issue of race; however, if Ferguson was a preview of how paramilitarized law enforcement reacts to local citizens as if they were in Afghanistan somewhere, what’s in store for the “Ferguson” city where I reside? In a span of a few days, protestors were bombarded with everything from militarized SWAT vehicles, rubber bullets and tear gas; to special operation forces with snipers taking aim at local residents. Local and national media and press reporters where given little to no video access of what became a full fledge paramilitary operation. Not trying to be overly conspiratorial, but under the banner of “Homeland Security,” lawmakers in Washington have shelled out some $34 billion over the past 10 years to state and local law enforcement. The grant money provides funds to build capabilities at the state and local levels while implementing the goals and objectives included in state homeland securities. Out of 14 categories ranging from Emergency Management Performance to Law Enforcement Terrorism; the program that receives the most funding is the Urban Areas Security Initiative.  This “initiative” is what Ferguson residents and many who viewed their televisions this week, found out what America has in store to impede any “acts” of terrorism.

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After nearly a week of rallying, marching and pictured selfies of “No Justice, No Peace” signs, citizens of Ferguson and the rest of nation, finally received the answers they were looking for–or did they? The Ferguson Police Department released the name of the unidentified officer involved in the shooting; six-year police veteran, Darren Wilson. However, to the chagrin of family, friends and supporters, not only did they release a police report linking Brown to a convenience store robbery; but they also revealed surveillance footage of Brown committing the act. Many people are saying this is an attempt to “assassinate” his character the same way they did Treyvon Martin back in 2012. Again, my condolences to Michael Brown’s family, relatives, and friends for doing all they could to raise a son; and now having to deal with the grief of losing one.  

So why did I entitled this article “The Failure at Ferguson?” I could point to the militarized law enforcement and their handling of the protestors, media, and press. I could also point to the Ferguson Police Department for releasing the police report and surveillance video of Brown; which had nothing to do with why he was killed. I could and should point to the rioting and looting that took place nearly a week ago. All of these things, even the race hustlers and race agitators, I could irrefutably point to. Instead, I’m going to point to the fact that the African-American community is not only waking up; but we’re starting to come together. I’m going to point to the fact that despite another white on black tragedy; maybe this time our galvanizing efforts will filter down into our communities when it comes to violence in general. Perhaps this will finally allow us to practice group economics, own more businesses, even emphasizing the value of our children’s education. So what’s the failure in all of this? We won’t—and that’s the failure.

So black America, please prove this cynical, pessimistic blogger wrong. I’m rooting for you.

Sincerely Yours,img-holdingferguson_151519994466.jpg_article_singleimage

One of your own

STEPHEN A. SMITH AND THE HYPOCRISY OF ESPN

jjermane80's avatar#PaperlessThoughts80

stephen-a-smith

“You better be careful what you say to me,” is what came to my mind when I heard ESPN’s First Take pundit, Stephen A. Smith was suspended for a week after his remarks about domestic violence involving the Ray Rice situation. It almost seems like Stephen A caught more backlash from social media then the actual perpetrator himself, Baltimore Ravens running back, Ray Rice. As Rice was greeted with support from Raven’s coach John Harbaugh and fans at training camp; Mr. Smith’s name and career continues to be dragged throughout the press as if he was in the elevator that night in Atlantic City. Stephen A. has been no stranger to controversy in his days at ESPN. Just a month ago, Smith was lambasted by the African-American community for his siding with Dallas Maverick’s owner, Mark Cuban, and his comments regarding the issue of race. Smith was also accused in…

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STEPHEN A. SMITH AND THE HYPOCRISY OF ESPN

 

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“You better be careful what you say to me,” is what came to my mind when I heard ESPN’s First Take pundit, Stephen A. Smith was suspended for a week after his remarks about domestic violence involving the Ray Rice situation. It almost seems like Stephen A caught more backlash from social media then the actual perpetrator himself, Baltimore Ravens running back, Ray Rice. As Rice was greeted with support from Raven’s coach John Harbaugh and fans at training camp; Mr. Smith’s name and career continues to be dragged throughout the press as if he was in the elevator that night in Atlantic City. Stephen A. has been no stranger to controversy in his days at ESPN. Just a month ago, Smith was lambasted by the African-American community for his siding with Dallas Maverick’s owner, Mark Cuban, and his comments regarding the issue of race. Smith was also accused in the blogs and social media, for dropping the nefarious five letter word on air that is often found in the lyrics of hip-hop artists (a claim Smith has repeatedly denied) back in 2012. This time however, Smith has seemly backed himself into a corner by the mere mention of one word: “provoke.” As Stephen A. continued to expound on his point about domestic violence, a colleague of his, Michelle Beadle, expressed her disgust on Twitter:
“I’m thinking about wearing a miniskirt this weekend…I’d hate to think what I’d be asking for by doing so @stephenasmith. #dontprovoke”
-Michelle Beadle (@MichelleDBeadle) July 25, 2014
Beadle, who is a co-host on ESPN2’s show SportsNation, revealed that she was once a victim of domestic abuse also added in her response: “Violence isn’t the victim’s issue. It’s the abuser’s. To insinuate otherwise is irresponsible and disgusting. Walk away.” On Monday’s First Take show, Stephen A. issued an apology to Beadle and others who felt like his words were ‘inappropriate’ and that he could have articulated himself better. If having to retract his original statement wasn’t bad enough, ESPN decided to take it a step further by suspending Mr. Smith for a week for comments that “didn’t reflect the views of the company.”
Really? Or in my Skip Bayless voice, “Are you kidding me?”
Before I let it be known why I find ESPN’s handling of this whole situation “hypocritical,” allow me preface my comments (as Stephen A would say) by saying I’ve been an avid supporter of the show-even back to its days when it was called Cold Pizza. The comments that were made by Stephen A. about domestic violence, has definitely been broached before on First Take. One could only remember the train wreck of what was called a “marriage” between former NFL star Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson, and Basketball Wives reality star, Evelyn Lozada. Johnson, (who would be later charged with domestic abuse) was the topic of discussion circling around his then current team, the Miami Dolphins, who would later go on to sever its ties with Johnson following his domestic incident with Lozada. As with all things First Take, Stephen A., Skip Bayless, and then moderator, Jemele Hill, decided to discuss the turmoil that surrounded Chad Johnson. Here is an excerpt from what Stephen A said during the show:
“I have been on the record on national television and radio; you don’t have no business putting your hands on a woman. You put your hands on a woman you deserve the price that comes along with that. I have never put my hands on a woman; you shouldn’t have to put your hands on a woman, walk away. I’ve said that. But, there are plenty of instances where provocation comes into consideration, instigation comes into consideration …”
To see more, go to this link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8QctGdDYMI
Notice how the word “provocation” is uttered by Smith just like it was voiced by him on last Friday’s show. There was no recant. There was no contrived apology given. As a matter of fact, Smith wasn’t even reprimanded by the fine executives at ESPN. Now some of y’all will give the excuse, “That was different and Evelyn has a history of being confrontational and aggressive.” Be that as it may, it only highlights what Stephen A. was trying to vocalize when he said the word provoke. In no way was he “insinuating” that it was okay for a man to put his hands on a woman. On the contrary, just as he believes it’s not okay for a man to hit a woman; he is also tried of the men being vilified in such cases and we don’t ever scrutinize the woman’s role in a domestic dispute. Such is true in the case with Ray Rice, who’s now wife, Janay Rice, admitted she played a role (by hitting him) in her ultimately being assaulted. Of course no one knows the full details of the entire incident, however, I believe Stephen A’s point was that in some (definitely not all) instances it’s not always the man being the aggressor or antagonist. Maybe Stephen A. knows what psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Bates has already concluded when it comes to intimate relationships: women tend to be more aggressive and controlling than their male counterparts (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10927507/Women-are-more-controlling-and-aggressive-than-men-in-relationships.html).
Now this leads me to one Michelle Beadle. I completely understand her overall point about domestic violence and how wrong it is for men to abuse women. I get that. However, I remember ANOTHER fellow ESPN colleague who at one time decided to voice his displeasure on Twitter about a certain segment he viewed on First Take. That person is one Bill Simmons. While conducting an interview with Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman, Simmons decided to loathe his feelings about the interview on Twitter:
“It’s amazing to me that people get so worked up about First Take. Who cares? Just don’t watch it. There are like 800 TV channels.”
-Bill Simmons (@BillSimmons) March 8, 2013
This and several other comments were made by Simmons on Twitter following the heated debate between Skip Bayless and Richard Sherman; which at one point Sherman replied “I’m better in life than you.” Simmons would go on to be suspended by ESPN (suspended from Twitter that is) for violation to their social media guidelines policy; a policy, that has somehow eluded Michelle Beadle’s disciplinary profile. I’m not C&C Music Factory, but this definitely rates as one of those things that make you go “Hmm.”
As this week comes to an end, there are new reports circulating that Stephen A. is STILL apologizing saying it’s the “most egregious error of his career.” All of this after doing what he is paid to do; give a daggone opinion!! I find it also telling that many people in the black community (yes, even black women) actually agree with Stephen A. when comes to men and WOMEN putting their hands on each other. Even daytime talk show host Whoopi Goldberg of The View, has sided with Stephen A. in reference to what he was trying to convey:
“Let me just point out the comment that he (Stephen A.) made is based on what the young lady said SHE did. Let me just make that clear to y’all (audience). She said ‘I hit him,’ and I believe that’s what Stephen A. was pointing to…”
To see more, go to this link: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MR0C-AlZl4)
Let’s not get it twisted people; domestic violence is wrong on all fronts. I just find it deplorable that we live in a society of double standards. Yes that same double standard that allows women to procreate with men and receives assistance from the system, (because she’s not financially able to take care of the child) that turns around and puts a man in the system if he can’t provide. I’m not making light of, or ignoring any woman who has truly been a victim of domestic violence; nor the ones who are involved in an abusive relationship now. What I am saying is if there is going to be an open discussion about domestic violence; let’s look at it from both perspectives, instead of it being one-sided ending with “that’s all folks.” No, that is not all, and until we as a society learn to understand each other better both humanistically and culturally, we’re going to continue to have biased, disingenuous conversations. An honest discussion is what Stephen A. was trying to have, but was punished; for what Michelle Beadle was allowed to do and was commended, despite breaching company policy. It also goes to show you that America STILL isn’t ready for honest discourse when the speaker just happens to be a black man. That is, unless their (A) bought off and controlled to fit a politicized agenda or (B) he is vouched for or validated by: the African-American woman. See, America only values the thoughts and opinions of the African-American community from the perspective of the African-American woman. So while I do value Ms. Goldberg’s input and support; Stephen A’s original statement or the word “provoke,” should not have hurt more than Ray Rice’s actual abuse to his wife. So in the words of another (now former) ESPN colleague, Rob Parker: “NO WAY, NO HOW!”
Peace.


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The Prostitution of Motherhood: “The Child Support Hustle.”

 

I’m sure anyone who is reading this blog is familiar with the phrase, “YOU ARE THE tumblr_mwjp776n2g1qabe6do1_500FATHER!!” A phrase made popular by daytime talk show host Maury Povich, who has reinvented himself in the talk show world in becoming the “Father of the Polygraph,” both figuratively and literally. In one of the longest running daytime talk shows ever (only trialing The Phil Donahue and The Oprah Winfrey Show), The Maury Povich Show is primarily based around married (but mostly unmarried) couples wanting to know via polygraph which partner is being honest when it comes to cheating in their relationship. As if the lie-detector results weren’t good enough, the stories take another explosive turn when children are conceived and the issue of paternity is up for question. As the results come in, the audience and viewers alike are anxiously awaiting the cliffhanger part of the show cleverly advertised as “DNA-Drama.”

In many cases, the man is often viewed by the audience as your typical paramour deadbeat father; all the while the woman is portrayed to be the helpless, yet vociferous in demanding that the alleged father in question step up and “be a Man;” followed by imminent threats of child support. Albeit the accused father is often confirmed by DNA results to be the aforementioned phrase above; however, there have been several situations when the mother has not only made false or ambiguous accusations, but in some instances, she doesn’t even know who the father is at all.

I used the Maury Povich Show as a microcosm on how our society now views a once private, civil matter between two adults; into what is now just another chapter in our drama-filled, attention-whoring, reality TV, crazed American culture. Paternity tests are just an appetizer, if you will, to the main course which is called the Family Court system. Here, the idea of “family” doesn’t necessarily fit well in the minds of the judges because they hide behind legal jargon of what’s in the best interest of the ‘child.’ It is also here where many men find out under the eyes of the law that they aren’t looked upon as fathers; but as indentured servants.

Originally called the Aide to Dependent Children as a part of the Social Security Act of 1935, the genesis of the welfare system was dispensed to white single mothers who had little to no income. It wasn’t until the Civil Rights Movement and the efforts of the National Welfare Rights Organization (NWRO) in the 1960’s, which finally saw government assistance distributed to African-American mothers. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aid_to_Families_with_Dependent_Children).

Now effectively called the Aid to Families with Dependent Children (circa. 1962), the AFDC was again, primarily geared towards welfare families with children. It wasn’t until the 1970’s, when Congress realized the caseload of AFDC had changed significantly. Now, the majority of children needed aid because their parents were separated, divorced, or was never married. The Child Support Enforcement and Paternity Establishment Program (CSE), enacted in 1975, was a response by Congress to reduce public expenditures on welfare by obtaining support from noncustodial parents on an ongoing basis, to help non-AFDC families get support so they could stay off public assistance, and to establish paternity for children born outside marriage so child support could be obtained for them. (http://www.policyalmanac.org/social_welfare/archive/child_support_01.shtml).

That’s it, problem solved…right?

Wrong. A system that was originally designed to help custodial parents (mostly mothers) receive support from non-custodial parents (mostly fathers) has become a way to extort, discriminate and even alienate fathers from their children. You can miss me with the “deadbeat” talk because just like sun, moon and stars; we know they exist. This has more to do with our government needing to amend archaic laws in order that we as fathers have equal parental rights. A system that has fathers sometimes coughing up over half of their income to support their child; and the mother. The state-federal government could care less how the man is to survive and provide for his own livelihood. Yet the best interest of the child, (at times) is for his or hers father to go broke in supporting them? Again, men (for the most part) are not looked to as fathers; rather they’re looked upon as criminals or debtors to the State. I say this because once a child support order is placed on you and you fall behind for whatever reason; the consequences ARE nothing but criminal.

According to legalmatch.com, these are the consequences slaves, I mean fathers, are faced with when children is brought into the picture.

The court could issue a warrant for the arrest of the parent who has missed child support payments. Warrants issued in connection with child support may be classified as either criminal or civil:

  • Criminal Warrants: Issued if prosecutors become involved under federal or state laws. This can occur if the parent is severely behind and owes a lot of unpaid support. Criminal warrants are enforceable in any state, not just in the state where it was issued. A criminal arrest can lead to fines, a sentence of one year or greater than one year in jail, or both.
  • Civil (“Capias”) Warrants: These warrants are issued when the custodial parent files for contempt of court. Failure to obey a court order is considered contempt of court, which can lead to fines, a short period of time in jail (less than one year), or both.

In addition to the legal penalties described above, failure to pay child support can have other consequences, including:

  • Suspension of driver’s license and revoking of driving privileges
  • Denial of tax refunds and other government benefits
  • Revocation of passport or changes to immigration status
  • Garnishment of wages, including unemployment funds or worker’s compensation benefits
  • Placing a lien on one’s real property to obtain funds for payment
  • Denial of licenses such as hunting or boating licenses
  • Lowering your credit score

(http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/consequences-of-not-paying-child-support.html) Not to mention this last and most critical point. Ohio, just like several other states in the U.S., if you get so far behind in your arrears or past due payments, your support order can turn felonious. That’s right American men; you read it correctly, you can become a felon.

Child support, unfortunately, has become yet another extension of the prison industrial complex (PIC), which is used to describe the overlapping interests of government that use surveillance, policing, and imprisonment as solutions to economic, social, and political problems (http://criticalresistance.org/about/not-so-common-language/). Unlike the educational stigma that is usually associated with PIC that is targeted towards young black boys; the child support aspect of it is designed for the father to have little or no access to his child at all. But I guess that’s the court’s interpretation of “the best interest of the child.” Sure ya right Ray, Ray, sure ya right.

Government funded state agencies are making an excess of over a billion dollars a year from child support orders. Back in 2011, the national Census Bureau reports the aggregate amount of child support received was $23.6 billion-from the $37.9 billion which was due. About three-quarters (74.1 percent) of custodial parents who were due child support payments received full or partial payments averaging $3,770 or $315 per month (http://www.census.gov/prod/2013pubs/p60-246.pdf). Even with those numbers, there’s yet another part of the system that is hardly ever divulged. According to Title 42 U.S.C Section 658 (a) of the U.S. Code and Social Security Act, states receive federal reimbursement incentive funding for the amount child support awards, collections, and enforcement.  This money is given to the state “without strings attached” and the state puts the funding into the general treasury to balance the budget (http://framedfathers.proboards.com/thread/1251). From the state treasury, there is a direct or indirect correlation between salaries and pensions awarded to judges and state agencies. Not to mention the money attorneys pocket from fathers who have to fight for custody of their own children.

childsupportSadly in 2014, the role of motherhood has become nothing short of a business transaction in which many children are being used as a tool to exploit fathers; all in the name of “support.” The government has also assisted in becoming the woman’s greatest ally and mediator when it comes to having children or not (ahem, Planned Parenthood). Men, this has become a serious issue due to the fact our judicial system has become “feminist” in their legislation when it comes to notion of family. Men, we must also understand that having children (especially if you’re not married) is not a game; it has become a war. There is no excuse nowadays for “us” to be irresponsible; especially when it’s not in our best interest to be. No longer can we say “I didn’t know it was that consequential,” when in reality you know it is. I’m not against having children; however, I am for equal rights for fathers when it comes to having children. This long, (yes very long) blog is NOT to empower deadbeat fathers; who not only don’t support their children financially, but who are physically absent in their lives. I don’t care if you’re a professional athlete making millions or a guy making minimum wage, the issue of fatherhood is no longer something we can afford to shrug our shoulders at. Fathers, let’s remind our judicial system that we’re more than just a paycheck; but a vital piece to what used to be the ‘American’ family. Peace.

 

 

 


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How HALLMARK Reminds Black Fathers Every Year Who’s Really “Appreciated.”

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“I’m wishing all of the Fathers and single Mothers doing it by themselves; Happy Father’s Day.”-Anonymous

Now you would think this line came from a scene straight out of a Tyler Perry movie called Father’s Day: Madea’s Revenge. I mean no other day of national celebration becomes of lesser importance than the day dedicated to fathers; correction, black fathers. This isn’t Hollywood and I’m not trying out for the role of the “Angry Blackman,” but every single year black Fathers are reminded who’s really ‘appreciated’ in the homes of Black America. Nothing further illustrates this point than the greeting card capital Hallmark and its preeminent, Afrocentric, Mahogany Card Collection. Hallmark’s Mahogany Card’s began around 1987 (according to their Facebook page) to provide African-Americans the most relevant greeting card and connecting products in the marketplace. Their company overview states:

The Mahogany Brand is…
· Candid not contrived
· Authentic not stereotypical
· Hopeful not idealized
· Heartfelt not melodramatic
· Vibrant not showy
· Bold not brash
· Spiritual not preachy
· Rhythmic not “sing song”
· Expressive not excessive
· Uplifting not lofty (www.facebook.com/MAHOGANY/info)

Before I go any further, I would like to thank Hallmark for acknowledging the African-American culture, history and experience. The contributors to the Mahogany Collection (who are black) are only coming from their own experiences and perspectives as African-Americans themselves.  Keion Jackson, Senior Writer of the Mahogany Collection, states this on the website:

“Mahogany is a celebration of Black culture:  the strong faith, the love for Big Mama, the spirit of survival and cool. I count it a privilege to contribute to such a strong tradition.”

(http://www.hallmark.com/mahogany/)

Now I could very well just stop right there and say “AH-HA, NO MENTION OF FATHERS!!” However, I’m going to preface my comments by saying this: the black family is dead or it’s in critical condition to say the least. I know the destruction of the nuclear family as a whole has been under attack for some time; however, I’m specifically dealing with black families because we’re the only culture who overtly acknowledges mothers on Father’s Day. Yes, the Mahogany Collection has cards dedicated to fathers on Mother’s Day as well but let’s be honest people; when’s the last time you seen a conglomerate of fathers (on a micro level) really get props on Mother’s Day? It is an indictment to the African-American community because we are the only culture that lacks strong male leadership in our homes and many of our women don’t see a problem with it. You’ll often hear “pro blacks” say “We came from Kings and Queens,” well, if that’s your logic then where is it now? I mean, king and queen denote family and it also promotes Headship and leadership. Hello patriarchy!! I understand slavery had a devastating effect on American blacks here in the states. Although slavery was “allegedly” abolished after the Civil War; however, the Reconstruction Era only saw a continuation of racial white supremacy towards African-Americans.  So in spite of the lynchings, the murders, the disenfranchisement and discrimination; black families STILL stuck together. It wasn’t until the 1960’s and Lyndon B. Johnson’s “Great Society” is where we see the exodus of black fathers in exchange for government benefits. Thus the head of household went from male to female.

These days the normality of single parenthood has been celebrated and lauded when it comes to black mothers; but in contrast, black fathers have often been labeled trifling, trivial, insignificant and irrelevant. Although there is some truth when it comes to those ilk’s of black men, however, there is a counterproductive movement in which black fathers have become significantly more involved in the raising of their children. Just last December, there was a federal survey conducted by the National Center of Health and Statistics, which basically concludes that when it comes to fathering children, black fathers were no different than fathers from other races.  To see the report, go the link at (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr071.pdf).fathers day

So why did I say that the black family is in critical condition? Because we continue to oppress and neglect the importance of the progenitor:  the black father. For every black woman who boasts on a day dedicated to father’s that she’s both “Mom and Dad,” further perpetuates the stereotype that black fathers (such as myself) am trying to rid. The Black Church has also played a major role in the acknowledgement of black mothers on Father’s Day as well. Understandably so seeing that the majority of its congregants are black women, however, it is still no excuse. It’s amazing that these women can come together and support their so-called “Spiritual Fathers,” but are absent when it comes to the natural ones (this is a future blog I’m working on btw). Outside of the church, themselves or when it comes to violence against their own sons; rarely do you see black women organize support groups that target the issues involving black men.

The purpose of this blog is NOT to demean, degrade or disrespect black women. It is, however, a blog that will hopefully bring attention certain level of dysfunction in the black community. Think about it. You actually have scores black men who think it’s some badge of honor to grow up without knowing their own father! Again, we can all agree that there are some horrible, irresponsible brothers out here. However, there are also some vindictive, vengeful, controlling women as well who use the child as a pawn to get back at the father by keeping his kid away-and using our lovely judicial system to do it. But alas, this post might never reach the people at Hallmark or the women and men who see nothing wrong with celebrating black mothers on a day dedicated to fathers. This blog isn’t just about some Mahogany Card Collection, but an attitude that is fueled by the independent feminist mantra that has become embedded in our community by these words, “I don’t need a man.” With the element of shame and accountability thrown out the window; the black woman can make a career out of procreating with different men and our government rewards her. Now if a father does that, well, let’s just say the media and those same women who buy Father’s Day cards for themselves, shout themselves out of social media and the government who protects them; knows exactly what happens to “those” fathers. But seriously, until we start to have a mutual respect for one another and become a team when it comes to the parenting aspect in the black family dynamic; our legacies will continue to be in the hands of a system that never really wanted to see the African-American family reach its zenith (together) in the first place. Let’s just see if the individual’s at the Mahogany Collection in Hallmark makes a holiday card dedicated to that. Peace.

 

 

The Black Male Flaw: How Black Men Use Women as a Barometer for Manhood.

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Allow me to reminisce for a second.

There was a time when I was in elementary school when me and other young black males would instigate or get into a fight about some of the most ridiculous of things. Yes, we would get upset or agitated over name calling or if we thought you were stupid; even if you wore clothes that were considered shabby. We pretty much got into rumblings over normal things kids would argue and scuffle over. Yet there was another level of stupidity we would contend for and it included a stick as a prop. So much so if the opponent knocked off the stick (which was placed on your shoulder by others), it was on! And what was this scenario that caused so much conflict and violence you ask?

“Yo Mama.”

This would go on to be the staple for many young black men and it would also become the black woman’s disrespect card that is often pulled. Brothers, tell me if this sounds familiar.

“You ain’t nothing but a Mama’s boy.”

Now with this being the premise, not just for me but other black men, it’s no wonder why we think being a ladies man, a player, or a down right (pseudo) pimp reigns supreme in the minds of many black men. Most of us were raised by single mothers and even if she got married or had so-called step-fathers(s) around; black boys always had the duty to defend their mother. Ironically, our fathers became the blaxploitation film stars, the rappers, the drug dealers and the hustlers. And what did they glamorize or was braggadocios about the most? How much women they had or conquered. Just ask yourself black men, do you or do you know someone you kick it with that always boasts about how many women they knocked off or how many they could pimp? I understand having this mentality when you’re a young man and all; but when you get to your 30’s, 40’s and 50’s are you still keeping up with so-called notches on your belt? If your theme song is “I Don’t Know What You Heard About Me…” from rapper 50 Cent or you still think you’re still Goldie from the movie “The Mack,” then women have epitomized your manhood.82aff94209fee9f1_tumblr_md1gyzBtJO1rkyhcbo1_500

I understand we as men are hunters and conquerors by nature; I get that. But for the most part, however, we have taken our twisted adoration about our Mothers (when used correctly can be healthy btw) and translated it into fighting and defending black women that we aren’t even married to. I myself have been guilty of this absurdity when I was younger defending black women when most of the times; they were in the wrong. Think about it. Most fights (especially in clubs) are over some scantily clad dressed black woman. Even in our relationships, I understand men should take up for a woman to a certain degree; however, it should never be to the extent where physical harm is involved unless she’s your wife. Black women also play a part in this because they often perpetuate these situations by testing our manhood. Again, see if this sounds familiar.

“Oh, so you gonna let him (or them) talk to me that way, for real though? What’s wrong with you? Oh, so you some kind of punk now?”

I kept it clean only because we know often times expletives are often used in the exchange of the word punk.

Black men must understand that some black women aren’t worth saving; (say it again) especially if she’s not your wife!! We put and importance on how many women we can sleep with (or at least lie about how many we sleep with) like it’s some badge of honor that makes us men. I personally know men who’s in their 50’s who still brag about their feminine “escapades” and would clown you if you don’t have something similar or give don’t props to it.

Some say this was something “conditioned” during slavery because the black male was used in breeding. I would agree, however, but that reasoning or theory is not complete. Black people have had a history of worshiping or exalting our reproductive organs and if you don’t believe me check out the story of Nimrod and a plethora of others. The Americanized black, however, has had this abnormal affair with idolizing our mothers and as a result; we define our manhood from the eyes of a woman. Think about it. How come black women can tell us what a “real” man is better than a black man? Furthermore, ask the average black man what a real man is? I will guarantee you it will sound like it’s from a black woman’s perspective or the stereotypes that’s permeated from the media, entertainment, and our community in general. I understand there are some literal deadbeats out there who have children for, whatever the reason, don’t want to be involved in their children’s lives. But to be honest, based off the over 70% black single parent homes, you can’t conclude that over 70% of black men are horrible Fathers (another story for another blog). Now I know if there’s a black man reading this he will probably ask, “Then why don’t you tell me what’s a real black man?” My brother, I could only give my honest opinion about what a real black man is. However, it’s not in conjunction with the aforementioned things I addressed earlier. Black men should prioritize on becoming a husband and a Father more than becoming your typical player. We as African–Americans love the church, but hate reading the bible; which would do us well especially when it comes to reading Proverbs 31. You know that chapter in the bible that makes black women feel good, yet many fail to live up too. Anyways, black men please stop letting “that thing, that thing, that thiiiing,” between a black woman’s legs define you. Maybe Lauryn Hill was trying to give a hidden message in her song Doo-Wop (That Thing).

Lauryn-Hill

Maybe it didn’t just apply to the women fellas.

Peace and Love.


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Thug Lovin: “Black Women’s Undying Love For Thugs.”

1000wIt’s no secret that black women or women in general, are attracted to a man with some kind of power or influence. Whether it’s your prestigious entrepreneur, entertainer, politician or congress men, even down to your local pastor; women love a man with a position of power. Kind of ironic those feminist women crave power disguised as equality; but then turn around and say they want a guy with some sort of “status?” But that’s another story for another day. What I want to deal with is the fascination that black women have for thugs. Even one of the most respected female emcees, MC Lyte, had to pay homage back in the day with the song, “Ruff Neck.” It actually happened to be one her biggest records by the way. However, what I want to do is to try to understand the psychology that women have when it comes to the coveted “bad boy” persona.

I’ve heard many black women say, “I need a guy who can handle me,” and when I was in my early 20’s I used to believe this nonsense. Yes, nonsense is what I call it now because after experiencing what most would call, the “typical black woman attitude,” I was often left feeling like I was the punk. And for any black woman who is reading this and saying to themselves, “He must of been messing with those ratchet hood chicks.” Well you’re correct, to a degree. I was just so intrigued with the Shaneeka’s, Lakeisha’s, and the Phaedra’s of the world, that they were of more of a challenge to me dating wise. My psyche was that if I could handle my next ‘EEKA,’ I could handle all black women.

Man was I wrong.

I eventually snapped out of liking those tough-talking, neck-moving, foul-mouthed, females. Like most men, I was drawn to these women because of their physical appearance, feistiness, and strength; also known as the “Strong Black Woman” mystique. So why am I being so retrospective in telling you this? Probably because when the black woman chooses the “thug,” she chooses them because of the look and the boldness. Funny how that happens, huh?tumblr_lkqyruvnBD1qdwh1so1_500

Black women choose the thug (or say they do) because they want security; they lust at the thugged-out appearance as a symbol of masculinity, and want to indulge in the often alluded stereotype that comes with bad boys: sexual gratification. This sexually based relationship (because that’s what it really is) ends up in the long run filled with multiple children, child support cases, parental (Father) abandonment, domestic violence, and worst death. From Yolanda to Senequa (yes, I know a woman by that name) time and time again, black women will go back to Daquan even after he’s done all kinds of evil to them. They actually believe the ‘thug’ represents the epitome of masculinity and power; the apex in their distorted, yet twisted “Knight in Shining Armor” mentality. Sadly, most of these women end up with the guy that I call the “Neo-thug.” The neo-thug doesn’t even have to prove or have street cred to be considered your typical thug anymore. He’s the guy who gets all of his thuggisms from movies and rap videos. He’ll make claims that he’s in a gang, but doesn’t have a set. He’s affiliated, but doesn’t participate in gang-related activities. He’s the guy who petty hustles, wants to be the next big rap star, tells a lot of “war stories” (which no one knows except him) and is allergic to a job application. Yet despite all of these traits; if he looks the part, black women will swoop him up even to the extent that she’ll let him live with her.

Another reason why black women are attracted to thugs is the element of control; and how they don’t have it over him. Black women will usually say “I don’t want no man I can control because I’ll walk all over him,” when in reality they do. In regards to the thug, however, they have both their fantasy and they have their challenge. They love the element of being put in check and wanting to have control at the same time! Unfortunately, with the thug you can never control him. You only get tired of him or exchange him for another one. Furthermore, the dilemma gets deeper when she attempts to make her thug into her own “science project.” Whether it’s the parolee straight from prison or the one who’s on his way there; black women will snatch him up out of curiosity or out of their desire to be nurturers. Unfortunately, most black women live off the exception not the rule, when it comes to dating the “bad boy.” And the rule is that many of these ‘boys’ do not change. Simply stated, if the school system, his parents, counseling, the juvenile and correctional facilities couldn’t rehabilitate him; neither can you.strong-black-beautiful-woman

The obsession many black women have with the street dude often creates a legacy of issues which has paralyzed the black community. As I’ve previously mentioned above, the fatherless-ness that is often created from dating the thug has more consequences than black women realize; especially when you start talking about it on a psychological level. Most of these “hood dudes” have behavioral issues and suffer from conduct (antisocial) disorders of which; are hardly ever resolved when they reach adulthood. Many have experienced some form of trauma; which can include verbal, mental, sexual and physical abuse. Once adults, they virtually carry on and become who their fathers were; even if the Father was never present in their lives. Likewise, the daughters also grow up and see their mothers date the same guys and often follow in their mother’s footsteps as well. As a matter of fact, some black women are now starting to emulate the very same thug they desire. Even though I used to be attracted to the “EEKA’S” of the world; these new thuggish-sounding, tatted up having, quick to fight anybody, type of female is just too much! I’m not even talking about the “studs” (another story for another blog) but these are black females who are attracted to black males.  Would I be wrong in saying let the battle of hyper-masculinity, begin?

In closing, I know some black women (and men) will read this post and will probably say “This ol’ lame @*% Negro…” and probably some other expletives and slurs; and will miss my point of this blog. It’s not just the hood chic that’s doing this, but it’s the career oriented, highly-educated and well-spoken ones too. I only wrote this blog because I’ve personally know women who are currently dating these men and think nothing of it. In an effort to be better people, we must first speak up on issues and past failures so we can grow as a people and not make the same mistakes. I’m not saying we are to totally turn our backs on black men who have experienced a trouble childhood or have a criminal past. However, black women must understand that the only way you can help a man like that is to let him help himself. Just remember black women the next thug you end up dealing with could very well spark another generation of convicts, absentee fathers, behaviorally challenged kids, and YOU living with the consequences and regrets. Don’t waist all of your good years seeking a thrill or chasing a fantasy. Because reality will hit you one day and you may not like what you see.240px-JaRuleThugLovin'Video

 

 


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“The NBA (Players) could learn a lot from the Gay Community”

NBA: Playoffs-Miami Heat at Milwaukee BucksYesterday at the NFL Draft, Michael Sam was selected in the 7th round by the St. Louis Rams and became the first openly gay player in the history of the league. While people took to social media to either congratulate or disagree with the kiss seen around the world, I realized the NBA could learn a lot from the gay rights struggle. Just last year, NBA journeymen Jason Collins, made his announcement that he was an openly gay player. Since then, Collins has had the support of fellow NBA players such as Kobe Bryant, former league commissioner David Stern, even from the President and the First Lady, Barack and Michelle Obama. A free agent at the time of his announcement, Collins signed a 10-day contract with the Brooklyn Nets and had the #1 online selling jersey this past February (http://www.cbssports.com/nba/eye-on-basketball/24457433/jason-collins-jersey-skyrockets-to-no-1-on-sales-list). Some call it propaganda, I call it power. Whether you agree or disagree to whether or not there’s an “agenda” going on, one thing is for sure, the gay community is not backing down.michael-sam-drafted

As I have previously mentioned in an earlier blog, I believe the NBA players had an opportunity to make history in its own right, by refusing to play during the Donald Sterling fiasco. It would of sent a clear message that one, to the NBA, two, the owners, and three, to America as a whole when dealing with the issue of race. More importantly, it would have put a league (which is predominately African-American) in a position of power. Power, that gets to dictate to a league that our self-respect means more than our pay checks. Of course you have people who have rebutted saying, “They have to feed their families etc.” Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t NBA players have guarantee contracts? It’s not like the NFL where you can get released a year after signing your only guarantee dollars ironically called a “signing bonus.” The NBA situation spoke volumes about how many African-Americans would rather be accepted or have someone come to our defense/rescue, than to be respected and taking it by force. I believe there’s a certain party in politics that has done this for years…. I just can’t remember its name???

Michael Sam is just a microcosm of what the gay community has done in its efforts to be (I will say it again) RESPECTED in the annals of American society. Again, whether you agree with the lifestyle or not, the fact that they are breaking down barriers in areas of legislation, marriage, entertainment and sports, cannot be denied. One could even make a case about which movement has generated more progress in the area of civil rights; but that’s another topic for another day. The point is this; the gay community has taught the NBA players and many ‘progressive’ African-Americans a valuable lesson. If you really believe in something, stand for it. Don’t just have a message, become the message-embody it. Sadly, like most things “black” in America, this too will fall on deaf ears. Because like in the words of a famous YouTuber, Tommy Sotomayor, when it comes to addressing the issues in the black community we would rather be “SYBIL then CIVIL.”

Looks like when it comes to our issues as African-Americans, we just continue to drop the ball. No pun intended.

jason-collins

“Black America, What Do We Stand For?”

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If you are an African-American and is reading this post, has this title sunk in yet? Does it even make sense to you? I understand that someone once said “If you want to hide something from black people, put it in a book.” Well, let’s just call this my prelude or preface; to a seemingly ongoing epidemic in my life as an African-American. I was going to call this post/blog “Can You Define Yourself, Black America?” However, I think I’ll wait until a later and a more proper time. Recently, I’ve seen mass hysteria going on in my community in regards to the latest release of a certain athletic shoe. This shoe just isn’t a shoe; it’s a pair of Air Jordan’s. Yes, Air Jordan’s. You know the guy who was famous for his high-flying, dominant scoring, aerial acrobatics with the basketball; and for leading the Chicago Bulls to 6 NBA titles in the early and mid-90s. Michael Jordan is that guy (for those living under a rock somewhere) who hasn’t played a professional NBA game in over a decade (since 2002-03 season). Mr. Jordan turned 50 years old this past February and now is the proud owner of a struggling NBA franchise, the Charlotte Bobcats. Jordan has never publically, (at least to my knowledge) said anything about what is now called the “Black Friday” for many black people when his shoes comes out. Oh, the irony.

I was a longtime supporter; wait a minute, I WAS a longtime idolater at the altar of Mr. Jordan that I used to read up on every book, video, or game that ever included him. I used to fantasize about playing like him, talking like him, even wore a cheap flea market jersey every time his games came on. To put it plainly, I loved him more than my own Father. Unfortunately, that dream of becoming him didn’t come true because I didn’t grow physically. In a matter of years my dream of playing ball like Mike was interrupted due to hormones and heredity. The point is, as much as I worshipped and adored Jordan; buying his shoes and apparel was line I wasn’t going to cross. Why? Because my parents taught me the value in the word called “no.” My parents didn’t believe in a child having shoes that not only they couldn’t afford; but the child couldn’t afford as well. They preached hard work, responsibility, discipline, and the true value of a dollar. These are values in which one can “stand” for.

From Jordan’s to Starter jackets, from Gucci to Louie Vat ton; it seems like the black community will literally STAND in line for the latest trinkets and fashions. And then STAND around the corner ready to pounce, shoot and rob the person who purchased the merchandise. Howbeit, these same people will return to the same ‘hood’ in which they live to show off their new-found piece of ‘glory.’ We will STAND up for the latest street thug for keeping it real; then cry out there’s no real or quality black men. I understand some people will say after reading this, “It’s not all or White people do it with cell phones etc.” The problem with that is the African-American community consumes (spends) the most out of any minority or people group in the United States. According to Experian.Com, African-American buying power will reach an astonishing $1.2 trillion, meaning that almost nine cents out of every dollar spent in the United States will come from African-American consumers ( as of 2013). I do not write my blogs to purposely offend, derogate, or disrespect my community. However, when will enough be enough? We STAND in line at Hip-Hop shows which do nothing but disrespect and sell their souls for money and fame; at the price of promoting ignorance and preconceived stereotypes. We STAND in the offering line due to a perverted or misguided preacher giving our ‘all’ in trying to live the ‘’blessed life;’’ or at least to look good for Passa and them. We STAND when we heard about Trayvon Martin; yet refuse to STAND about the violence in our own communities. We will STAND on a block in our neighborhoods all day acknowledging a place we don’t own. Yet we won’t STAND in the job line, P.T.A. meeting or for better education. We will stand and be comfortable with being strong single parents; yet we won’t STAND for abstinence, birth control, or marriage. Black America; materialism, consumerism, self-hate, jealousy and murder is destroying us. No matter how much ‘we’ learn about ourselves; the problem is the human heart-which is the heart of the problem. I’m not trying to section off a part of humanity; just trying to awaken a community in which I am a part of.  Peace.