Tag Archives: Black men

After a Slaying In Baton Rouge; Should Jesse Williams Be Fired Now?

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After delivering such a riveting message during last week’s BET Awards, Grey’s Anatomy star Jesse Williams went from a thunderous ovation from a crowd of his peers, to a week of receiving malicious criticism from Conservative cowards; who set up a spiteful petition to have him fired from ABC. See, Mr. Williams’ words wasn’t about his blackness, playing the victim card, or him being some spoiled overpaid actor using his platform to bash cops. Not even close. His words were about what took place in Baton Rouge, Louisiana last night when a young man identified as Alton Sterling, 37, was gunned down by some bloodthirsty cops.  Eerie; however, but prophetic.

In an updated story from the Advocate: “Alton Sterling, a 37-year old man who sold CDs, was shot and killed by a Baton Rouge police officer Tuesday morning outside a convenience store on North Foster Drive after “some type of altercation” with two officers, officials said.

Baton Rouge police did not provide much information about what escalated the incident between the officers and Sterling or what prompted an officer to fire his weapon. A witness, however, described police as “aggressive” and said Sterling was armed but was not holding his gun or touching his pockets during the incident. Police later retrieved a gun from the man’s pocket, said the witness, shop owner Abdullah Muflahi.

Around 12:35 a.m., Baton Rouge police responded to the Triple S Food Mart at 2112 N. Foster Drive after an anonymous caller indicated that a man in a red shirt who was selling CDs outside the store pointed a gun at someone, telling them to leave the property, Baton Rouge Police Department spokesman Cpl. L’Jean McKneely said.

East Baton Rouge Parish Coroner William “Beau” Clark said the initial results of an autopsy performed Tuesday show Sterling died due to a homicide and suffered multiple — meaning more than two — gunshot wounds to the chest and back.” (http://theadvocate.com/news/16311988-77/report-one-baton-rouge-police-officer-involved-in-fatal-shooting-of-suspect-on-north-foster-drive)

**Warning video contains graphic footage**

Then there was this…

In a petition started by Erin Smith on Change.Org, Smith accused Williams of a “racist, hate speech against law enforcement and white people at the BET Awards.” She also wasn’t fond of the show’s creator, Shondra Rhymes, accusing her of “condoning” his actions and even calling Ms. Rhymes a “hypocrite.” Here’s a small excerpt of what Smith wrote:

“Upon receiving a humanitarian award at the BET awards, Jesse Williams released a cascade of inappropriate, unprofessional and racist commentary against police officers and Caucasians. Had any one of his offensive words been said by any other race other than an African American, they would’ve been publicly shamed, fired from whatever job they had, lost endorsements, advertisers, etc…”

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Smith’s petition–a disgusting one to say the least–has over 18, 000 supporters, needing 25,000 signatures to achieve its ridiculous goal. People like Erin and TheBlaze Tomi Lahren, really don’t want to hear about any socio-political issues involving the Negro in this country. We should instead, not focus on race because if you do, I will pull out my conservative bias talking points and remind you who was the people who freed you from slavery. According to them, the subject of race can only be addressed when they control the narrative; which always reminds us what we’re not doing, should be doing, or what ‘they’ have done to help us.

RT.com has just released the names of the officers involved in the death of Alton Sterling: Blane Salamoni, 4-year veteran, and Howie Lake II, 3-year veteran. It has also been noted that one of the officers, Lake II, was involved in a prior police killing in December 2014, RT.com reports.

Prior to today, I must admit I was not a proponent of the Black Lives Matter movement; even after today, I will hold fast to my convictions about the movement. The only movement we as black people should only be a part of, are the ones which are not funded by white handlers. History teaches us from the Civil Rights Movement, when it was completely funded and controlled by white handlers, black folks as a collective received nothing from that movement. Unless you want to count retired or deceased Negro leaders, whose legacy left us singing spirituals, the DNC party, and no economy because we were satisfied with the white man liking us. However, even in the aftermath of this police execution, locals from the Baton Rouge area have flooded the streets in protest (which they should) being assisted by community leaders and organizers—while black America holds its breath waiting to breathe for justice.

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“What we’ve been doing is looking at the data and we know police somehow manage to deescalate, disarm, and not kill white people every day”--Jesse Williams

While I may not agree with Mr. Williams’ Black Lives Matter Movement or some of the sentiments he made during his compelling speech; however, we both agree our lives matter and we shouldn’t have to include “all lives” when historically and concurrently, all lives still aren’t created equal. Peace and love y’all.

‘Katpacalypse’ is Definitely Becoming More Fact than Fiction for Katt Williams

 

If you would have told me my first blog post of the new year would have involved troubled comedian Katt Williams, I would told you I have better articles to write about. Instead, I sit here this morning in complete disbelief as the world is watching Katt Williams literally throw away a once promising stand-up career. Williams, 42, was recorded a few days ago on video getting the perm stomped out of him at a Beanie Sigel concert in Philadelphia, PA after Williams ran up on a member of Sigel’s entourage and threw what some are calling a “sucker punch.” This comes just after an incident he had in Gainseville, GA with a pool supply employee when Williams two-pieced the guy because Williams claimed he was called the N-word. After being arrested and charged with battery, video of Williams was leaked during his Conspiracy Tour in Atlanta of him calling fellow famed comedian Kevin Hart a “Hollywood Puppet” and challenging him to $5 million dollar battle. The Pimp Chronicles star later apologized for his remarks towards Hart during an interview with Big Tigger at Atlanta’s V-103 radio station; however, issued yet another challenge to another comedian, this year’s Oscar host Chris Rock.

 

After the video surfaced of Williams looking like he was at an old school Brand Nubian concert (Punks Jump up To Get Beat Down), he instantly became a trending topic on Twitter receiving mixed reactions from fans and some hinting his career might be over. Even Katt himself posted a video to WorldStarHipHop, where spoke about taking “nothing but w’s” during the debacle in Philly and further speculated he might be retiring from stand-up comedy for good. Over the past several years, it has surely been a “Kattpacalypse” for Williams as he’s been known more his erratic onstage behavior, missed shows, various assaults, arrests and outlandish conspiracy theories. Once regarded as your comedian’s favorite comedian, Williams has become a tabloid magnet for controversy (ahem, TMZ) and cause celebre, leaving many wondering if Williams is mentally-ill or truly on that ‘stuff.’ With Williams currently still on his Conspiracy Tour, one can only wonder if the once considered comedic genius can actually finish his tour dates, and avoid any further altercations, arrests, and onstage debasement. All jokes aside, I hope who’s ever managing or around the embroiled star, gets Katt the help he needs instead of having the show must go on approach because Williams is definitely a “pimp down.” Peace y’all.

 

My Thoughts on Dr. Umar Johnson’s ‘Striptease’

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Before I begin this post, I must admit I am a modest supporter of Dr. Umar Johnson. Now, when I say that, I say it because I don’t agree with all of his ideological stances. I don’t believe in praying to the ancestors, all white people are devils, studying ancient Kemet, or calling each other “Kings and Queens.” The idea of having “knowledge of self” hasn’t really helped the Negro no more than prosperity pimps found in mega churches. I will say, however, just like those who actually study and follow the bible or the Christian faith, if you consider yourself as being a conscious person, Pan-Africanist, black Muslim, whatever! If it works for you AND it helps to the betterment of the black community, I have no problem. Now, in transitioning back to Dr. Johnson, the primary reason why I have followed his messages is because he’s the first person I’ve encountered who’s addressed not only the school to prison pipeline in regards to young black boys; but the mis-diagnosing, special education for monetary gain aspect as well.  Unfortunately, when the leader or progenitor who prides himself as being the “Prince of Pan-Africanism,” a Garveyite, and who’s a direct descendant of Fredrick Douglass (a claim he makes), is found being involved with a stripper—scratch that—a so-called conscious stripper, it really speaks volumes.

I’ve heard all of the arguments like “it’s about the message not the man” or “he’s not married, he’s single so what’s the big deal etc.” and to be clear, no one is faulting him for having a sexual relationship. What he does behind closed doors is between him and whoever he’s involved with. However, when that person who prides herself as being an adult entertainer, aka a stripper, is the person you’re involved with and your name is Dr. Umar Johnson; Houston we have a problem. See, it goes like this: In many people’s eyes Umar is considered a person of high esteem and although still fairly young, some laud him as the new voice of black America—like it or not. A Certified School Psychologist and a Dr. of Clinical Psychology, Umar is sought out motivational speaker and tours endlessly across the nation teaching, exhorting, uplifting and challenges his audiences to become more active in their communities especially when it comes to  childhood education. At the center of this controversy lies the proposed school, the Frederick Douglass & Marcus Garvey RBG International Leadership Academy (FDMG), that he’s currently raising money and receiving donations via a gofundme account. One can only assume the slanderous and relentless assertion of “fraud” has begun to taint the Dr.’s movement, fundraiser, and more importantly; his character.

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The “conscious” stripper (a name she states Umar had given her) real name is Kym Ringgold. Along with being an adult entertainer, she also describes herself as a Lipsync artist and Pan-African activist; you know the typical pro-black jargon in conjunction with the liberation of our people. Apparently, this “conscious” woman has made it her mission in life to expose Dr. Johnson as being a liar stemming from The Roland Martin Radio Show, where Dr. Johnson was a fill in as a guest host for Martin. During the two hour show, the man who is known as being “unapologetically African,” was definitely unapologetic when he stated:

“I’m not sexually active; I’m celibate.”

-The Roland Martin Radio Show, May 6, 2015

Now in most Negroid circles, a man declaring himself as being celibate would render remarks of ridicule, ribbing, or in Negroid terminology suggest that “you don’t have no game.” But remember, this is Dr. Umar Johnson we’re talking about here. Such an attainment of abstinence for any length of time would have been commendable; primarily because he has a pretty sizable female following. Nevertheless, Ms. Conscious let everyone know in an ongoing barrage of tweets, that Dr. Johnson was being anything else but celibate. Let’s just say the conscious aka pro-black community suffered a hit tantamount of when Karrine Steffens wrote her New York Times bestselling book “Confessions of a Video Vixen.”

Social media has allowed people to express themselves in a bevy of ways. It has allowed the common man to film and upload significant events, celebrations, comedic flare, intimate moments and unfortunate tragedies. However, it has also become the place for juvenile debasement, soft porn, social depravity, ghetto buffoonery, violence, and online harassment called trolling. In case with Ringgold and Johnson, one must decipher if this is really about exposing Dr. Johnson or an attempt for social media fame? Would it be farfetched to say she got tired of Umar’s sexual demands so she decided to expose him as being nothing more than your typical “thirsty” Negro?  Let us think for second here, the only reason why this is a story at all is because of her adult profession. Put aside the fact she claims to be conscious, it’s because of the word “stripper” that black folks have become fixated with this story hands down. Not to mention Ms. Conscious is very easy on the eyes; ahem.

I am no way trying to belittle Ms. Ringgold nor excusing Dr. Johnson for his private escapade gone public by way Twitter and Instagram. In my opinion, this is more than about him just “having sex” with someone; it’s speaks volumes to this stripper culture that has become so embedded within the black community that even a sista who considers herself conscious; thinks there’s nothing wrong with being both openly. I started to compared it to a born-again Christian woman claiming to love the Lord while still a stripper, but that analogy is actually a reality by way of Latascha Emanuel; who conducts bible studies nearly bare chested; and she claims to a MINISTER! Even though Ms. Emanuel states she’s an ex-stripper, however, judging by the subtle nudity in her videos, let’s just say she still has a long, long, long, way to go. But as much as many faithful followers of Umar would love to point to big, bad “white supremacy” and deem this woman an agent sent by the government (side eye); this just lets you know that there’s a problem with the leadership and the followers. Much like Negro church congregants institutionalized by religious rituals, denominations, and clerical hierarchy; the worship of man has bewitched many who follow the leaders of the conscious community and Dr. Umar is no exception.

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I really couldn’t tell you what Ms. Ringgold’s motives were for exposing Dr. Johnson no more than knowing why he continued having sexual dealings with her after he found out she was a stripper. However, what I can conclude is that Dr. Johnson: “You made eh mistake breh.” I understand nobody’s perfect, we have our vices, and we’re infallible beings, I get all of that. But calling your accuser a “maggot” and “a tramp disguised as a Queen,” is not a good look to your fellow “Kings and Queens.” Hopefully Dr. Johnson will provide a rueful public apology to his loyal supporters and followers; while seeking guidance from his elders (or how they say The Elders, lol). As far as him calling Ms. Ringgold a “conscious stripper” goes; one can only hope for Dr. Johnson’s sake that there’s no other “Karrine’s” out there who might be more concerned with exposing him for the attention they can garner and social media likes—rather than for him misleading his supporters for living a double life. Peace.

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With Roger Goddell’s New Rule, Ray Rice & Adrian Peterson; Will African-American NFL Athletes Become a Bigger Target of Aggressive Victims?

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Don’t think for one second you’ve misread the title of this article incorrectly Ladies and Gentlemen. It would also be in your best interest not to misinterpret what you are about to read. I was actually going to release this article a few weeks ago in response to the NFL’s new domestic violence policy; however, in lieu of what has transpired last week with now former Baltimore Raven’s running back, Ray Rice and his wife, Janay Rice—and the NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell—I had to go back to the drawing board. This incident not only reminded America on how truly dehumanizing domestic violence really is; rather, when it comes to having an honest discussion about domestic violence; as a nation, it is still a one-side issue. Millions watched as the TMZ video went viral in a matter of hours on this past Monday showing the graphic elevator confrontation between Ray and his then fiancé, Janay Palmer (since married). Almost immediately it was trending all over social media (and still is), press, radio, local and national news as it became not just news, but breaking news interrupting several televised programs. The video was so huge; it even drew the attention of the certain congressmen down in Washington, D.C. The court of public opinion was already disgusted with the original ruling of a 2-game suspension for the now troubled running back, Ray Rice. But after TMZ, (which is a celebrity gossip magazine for crying out loud) was able to get a hold of the footage that Commissioner Roger Goddell seemingly couldn’t; the uproar for the dismissal of Rice—and now Goddell—grew exponentially. With domestic violence and sexual assault now taking precedent over the actual NFL games themselves; you would think the victim in all of this—Janay Rice—all of sudden became the unofficial voice for domestic violence victims everywhere. Instead, Janay stuns all domestic violence advocates and supporters with a startling message from her Instagram account in defense of her husband.

Since the disturbing video of Ray Rice was released nearly two weeks ago, critics ranging from sports reporters, pundits, and most notably the National Organization for Women otherwise known as N.O.W., have all but demanded Roger Goddell’s head on a silver platter insisting his resignation immediately. This also comes in light of new developments reported by the Associated Press that NFL Headquarters was in fact aware of the full Ray Rice video leaked by TMZ last Monday. While Goddell maintains his innocence, the league has decided to hire former FBI director Robert S. Mueller III, to handle an independent investigation to see if indeed Commissioner Goddell knew about the entirety of tape prior to last Monday. The NFL is now facing immense scrutiny for allowing San Francisco 49ers defensive end, Ray McDonald and Carolina Panthers defensive end, Greg Hardy, to play in their season openers while McDonald hasn’t been charged in his domestic violence altercation; however, Hardy was charged in his as of July this year. The Panthers have since placed Hardy on the “exempt list” pending Hardy’s appeal in his case involving his ex-girlfriend. Whew, can we finally say we are ready for some football, right? “Not so fast my friend!” As popular commentator of ESPN’s College Game Day, Lee Corso would utter. As week two approached, the league was hit with yet another blow involving one of its most marketable superstars. Minnesota Vikings star running back, Adrian Peterson, was indicted on felony child abuse charges stemming from a whipping in which Peterson disciplined his son with tree branch; commonly known to black folks as a switch. At first, the Vikings stood behind their all-pro running back; but when advertisers such as Nike, started to back off of Peterson, the Vikings soon joined the party. There also seems to be yet another allegation of child abuse from another one of Peterson’s baby mother’s as well. But for now, the all-pro running back has been placed on the exempt list as well pending his sentencing for the child abuse charges that occurred in 2013.            259915_5_

Now with the media pressure at an all-time high due to Peterson’s child abuse charges, Goddell, (feeling obliged from sponsors such as McDonald’s, Visa, Anheuser-Busch and Fed Ex) was again forced to react. Even after he modified the league’s domestic violence policy, the issue of child abuse (which is also included in the domestic violence policy btw) has lit a fire across America in regards to what is and what isn’t an appropriate way to discipline your children. Reports say Peterson has acknowledged his mistakes but feels he has done nothing wrong due to the fact of it was how he was raised. With the NFL’s most prolific running back now indefinitely sidelined, Goddell tried to ingratiate himself among his female fanbase by hiring a distinguished group of women to oversee the affairs in the league involving domestic violence and sexual assault. Among the accomplished group of women Lisa Friel, Jane Randel, and Rita Smith; the most noteworthy is former White House Official Cynthia C. Hogan, naming her Senior Vice President of Public Policy and Government Affairs. While this may be an astronomical leap for the league for allowing a woman’s voice to be heard in a significant way involving domestic violence and off the field issues; we must remember one thing: the league and its player’s is overwhelmingly 66% black. And with the league’s attempt to solve its domestic violence issue; it left out an important demographic of people that suits the narrative: the black woman.

When it comes to the African-American community, sadly black women experience intimate partner violence (IPV) rates 35% higher than their white counterparts and 2.5 times the rate of men and other races. Yet when the NFL chose to elect female authoritative voices they disregarded the voice that impacts most of the league’s players the most. The group called “The Black Woman’s Roundtable,” has expressed its frustration with not including an African-American woman’s voice in the NFL’s attempt to clean up violence towards women as ABC News reports:

“However, your lack of inclusion of women of color, especially black women who are disproportionately impacted by domestic violence and sexual assault; and the fact that over 66% of the NFL players are made up of African-Americans, is unacceptable..”

Not allowing an African-American voice to an apparent African-American issue (as the liberal media is propagandizing it) is utterly disrespectful knowing that it was an African-American woman–Janay Rice–who was at the fore front of this whole debacle. Unfortunately, this maybe the point at which some African-American readers may vehemently disagree with me; but on behalf of many ‘brotha’s’ out there who love our sista’s I would be remised if I didn’t mention the aggressive and abusive tendencies many African-American women engage in when it comes to our relationships. This is in no way an excuse for black men to go oops upside a black woman’s head; however, it’s also not an excuse for black women to go carte blanche on a black man in the midst of a domestic dispute either. I’m only speaking from the black perspective because I’ve seen an abundance of overly aggressive black women not only confront or verbally abuse their men, but physically abuse them as well. This is the core of my problem with this whole ‘domestic violence’ issue—especially–when it comes to the lack of culpability that black women play when it comes to domestic disputes. What seems to be the liberal media’s attempt to remind America that black men are nothing more “brutes and thugs,” you have black women (and black men) television personalities being propagated as staunch advocates against domestic violence and child abuse—while putting the guilty under the bus. Unfortunately, just like Ferguson, we as a community (so-called) only get outraged when the predominately white media is involved with a societal epidemic that not only affects people humanistically; but it took a black face (Ray Rice) to make the problem germane.

Please don’t get it twisted because I whole-heartily agree that if a man abuses a woman, he should be punished as applicable to law. However, I am NOT blind to the facts that many of our women are just as abusive in the relationships they encounter as well. See, a month and a half ago, Stephen A. Smith tried to balance out this issue over the democrat controlled airwaves of ESPN on his show called First Take. Only to no avail due to a colleague of his (Michelle Beadle) taking to Twitter venting her displeasure with Smith’s comments involving the word “provocation,” Even with all of the hoopla turned importance surrounding domestic violence, it continues to be a one-sided issue; which once again portrays women as weak, innocent victims and men as out of control brutes.. Some of y’all may not like my assertion about this dilemma (which domestic violence is important btw), but all I see is a political, feminist narrative being pushed for women to have just as much as a voice (and power) in what is called America’s favorite sport, pro-football; in what they call a bridging of the gap when it comes to gender equality. Simply stated, they want their voice to count.

While gender equality is not the reason why I did this article, the promotion of black men being public enemy number one is. Trust me; I’m not excusing any abuser of women and or of children. However, what I won’t put up with or stand for, is allowing the media to tell black people not only how to raise our children; but to propagandize and leave an impression that black men are not only a menace to society; but a threat to his family as well. Just remember how much the black athlete is perused  even after he’s paid for his crime a la Michael Vick (who is still berated by apparent animal rights activists). Could you imagine if Rice or Peterson were to return to the league next year? Even while I’m finishing this article, there have been yet two more NFL athletes who have been brought to the media’s attention involving domestic violence: the Chicago Bear’s wide receiver, Brandon Marshall (on an old charge btw) and Arizona Cardinal’s running back, Johnathan Dwyer.

So this leads me to my most arguable, controversial, and contentious question yet. Will women (specifically black women) use not only Goddell’s new rule as leverage against African-American football players; but with the help of feminist organizations such as N.O.W. and the women involved with domestic violence and sexual assaults for the league—as a way to control not just football players, but to send an eerie message to men in general? Please understand my intent is not to point the finger, but to call attention to what could happen when we give a group of people too much power. Or maybe I should just remain naïve because with the help of feminist organizations maybe they will finally bring men and women together to further better an egalitarian in pro football.

There’s just one problem; I’m no fool.   1410992544000-EPA-USA-NFL-DOMESTIC-ABUSE-67319630

Fortunately, there is a phrase that says, “Absolute power corrupts absolutely,” so I believe not only black players will be targeted and extorted by the likes of so-called woman advocates (many who are really feminist) like Gloria Allred; but I’m reminded of a crooked system that’s already used to screw men in general.

And it’s administered through the family court system.


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How HALLMARK Reminds Black Fathers Every Year Who’s Really “Appreciated.”

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“I’m wishing all of the Fathers and single Mothers doing it by themselves; Happy Father’s Day.”-Anonymous

Now you would think this line came from a scene straight out of a Tyler Perry movie called Father’s Day: Madea’s Revenge. I mean no other day of national celebration becomes of lesser importance than the day dedicated to fathers; correction, black fathers. This isn’t Hollywood and I’m not trying out for the role of the “Angry Blackman,” but every single year black Fathers are reminded who’s really ‘appreciated’ in the homes of Black America. Nothing further illustrates this point than the greeting card capital Hallmark and its preeminent, Afrocentric, Mahogany Card Collection. Hallmark’s Mahogany Card’s began around 1987 (according to their Facebook page) to provide African-Americans the most relevant greeting card and connecting products in the marketplace. Their company overview states:

The Mahogany Brand is…
· Candid not contrived
· Authentic not stereotypical
· Hopeful not idealized
· Heartfelt not melodramatic
· Vibrant not showy
· Bold not brash
· Spiritual not preachy
· Rhythmic not “sing song”
· Expressive not excessive
· Uplifting not lofty (www.facebook.com/MAHOGANY/info)

Before I go any further, I would like to thank Hallmark for acknowledging the African-American culture, history and experience. The contributors to the Mahogany Collection (who are black) are only coming from their own experiences and perspectives as African-Americans themselves.  Keion Jackson, Senior Writer of the Mahogany Collection, states this on the website:

“Mahogany is a celebration of Black culture:  the strong faith, the love for Big Mama, the spirit of survival and cool. I count it a privilege to contribute to such a strong tradition.”

(http://www.hallmark.com/mahogany/)

Now I could very well just stop right there and say “AH-HA, NO MENTION OF FATHERS!!” However, I’m going to preface my comments by saying this: the black family is dead or it’s in critical condition to say the least. I know the destruction of the nuclear family as a whole has been under attack for some time; however, I’m specifically dealing with black families because we’re the only culture who overtly acknowledges mothers on Father’s Day. Yes, the Mahogany Collection has cards dedicated to fathers on Mother’s Day as well but let’s be honest people; when’s the last time you seen a conglomerate of fathers (on a micro level) really get props on Mother’s Day? It is an indictment to the African-American community because we are the only culture that lacks strong male leadership in our homes and many of our women don’t see a problem with it. You’ll often hear “pro blacks” say “We came from Kings and Queens,” well, if that’s your logic then where is it now? I mean, king and queen denote family and it also promotes Headship and leadership. Hello patriarchy!! I understand slavery had a devastating effect on American blacks here in the states. Although slavery was “allegedly” abolished after the Civil War; however, the Reconstruction Era only saw a continuation of racial white supremacy towards African-Americans.  So in spite of the lynchings, the murders, the disenfranchisement and discrimination; black families STILL stuck together. It wasn’t until the 1960’s and Lyndon B. Johnson’s “Great Society” is where we see the exodus of black fathers in exchange for government benefits. Thus the head of household went from male to female.

These days the normality of single parenthood has been celebrated and lauded when it comes to black mothers; but in contrast, black fathers have often been labeled trifling, trivial, insignificant and irrelevant. Although there is some truth when it comes to those ilk’s of black men, however, there is a counterproductive movement in which black fathers have become significantly more involved in the raising of their children. Just last December, there was a federal survey conducted by the National Center of Health and Statistics, which basically concludes that when it comes to fathering children, black fathers were no different than fathers from other races.  To see the report, go the link at (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr071.pdf).fathers day

So why did I say that the black family is in critical condition? Because we continue to oppress and neglect the importance of the progenitor:  the black father. For every black woman who boasts on a day dedicated to father’s that she’s both “Mom and Dad,” further perpetuates the stereotype that black fathers (such as myself) am trying to rid. The Black Church has also played a major role in the acknowledgement of black mothers on Father’s Day as well. Understandably so seeing that the majority of its congregants are black women, however, it is still no excuse. It’s amazing that these women can come together and support their so-called “Spiritual Fathers,” but are absent when it comes to the natural ones (this is a future blog I’m working on btw). Outside of the church, themselves or when it comes to violence against their own sons; rarely do you see black women organize support groups that target the issues involving black men.

The purpose of this blog is NOT to demean, degrade or disrespect black women. It is, however, a blog that will hopefully bring attention certain level of dysfunction in the black community. Think about it. You actually have scores black men who think it’s some badge of honor to grow up without knowing their own father! Again, we can all agree that there are some horrible, irresponsible brothers out here. However, there are also some vindictive, vengeful, controlling women as well who use the child as a pawn to get back at the father by keeping his kid away-and using our lovely judicial system to do it. But alas, this post might never reach the people at Hallmark or the women and men who see nothing wrong with celebrating black mothers on a day dedicated to fathers. This blog isn’t just about some Mahogany Card Collection, but an attitude that is fueled by the independent feminist mantra that has become embedded in our community by these words, “I don’t need a man.” With the element of shame and accountability thrown out the window; the black woman can make a career out of procreating with different men and our government rewards her. Now if a father does that, well, let’s just say the media and those same women who buy Father’s Day cards for themselves, shout themselves out of social media and the government who protects them; knows exactly what happens to “those” fathers. But seriously, until we start to have a mutual respect for one another and become a team when it comes to the parenting aspect in the black family dynamic; our legacies will continue to be in the hands of a system that never really wanted to see the African-American family reach its zenith (together) in the first place. Let’s just see if the individual’s at the Mahogany Collection in Hallmark makes a holiday card dedicated to that. Peace.

 

 

The Black Male Flaw: How Black Men Use Women as a Barometer for Manhood.

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Allow me to reminisce for a second.

There was a time when I was in elementary school when me and other young black males would instigate or get into a fight about some of the most ridiculous of things. Yes, we would get upset or agitated over name calling or if we thought you were stupid; even if you wore clothes that were considered shabby. We pretty much got into rumblings over normal things kids would argue and scuffle over. Yet there was another level of stupidity we would contend for and it included a stick as a prop. So much so if the opponent knocked off the stick (which was placed on your shoulder by others), it was on! And what was this scenario that caused so much conflict and violence you ask?

“Yo Mama.”

This would go on to be the staple for many young black men and it would also become the black woman’s disrespect card that is often pulled. Brothers, tell me if this sounds familiar.

“You ain’t nothing but a Mama’s boy.”

Now with this being the premise, not just for me but other black men, it’s no wonder why we think being a ladies man, a player, or a down right (pseudo) pimp reigns supreme in the minds of many black men. Most of us were raised by single mothers and even if she got married or had so-called step-fathers(s) around; black boys always had the duty to defend their mother. Ironically, our fathers became the blaxploitation film stars, the rappers, the drug dealers and the hustlers. And what did they glamorize or was braggadocios about the most? How much women they had or conquered. Just ask yourself black men, do you or do you know someone you kick it with that always boasts about how many women they knocked off or how many they could pimp? I understand having this mentality when you’re a young man and all; but when you get to your 30’s, 40’s and 50’s are you still keeping up with so-called notches on your belt? If your theme song is “I Don’t Know What You Heard About Me…” from rapper 50 Cent or you still think you’re still Goldie from the movie “The Mack,” then women have epitomized your manhood.82aff94209fee9f1_tumblr_md1gyzBtJO1rkyhcbo1_500

I understand we as men are hunters and conquerors by nature; I get that. But for the most part, however, we have taken our twisted adoration about our Mothers (when used correctly can be healthy btw) and translated it into fighting and defending black women that we aren’t even married to. I myself have been guilty of this absurdity when I was younger defending black women when most of the times; they were in the wrong. Think about it. Most fights (especially in clubs) are over some scantily clad dressed black woman. Even in our relationships, I understand men should take up for a woman to a certain degree; however, it should never be to the extent where physical harm is involved unless she’s your wife. Black women also play a part in this because they often perpetuate these situations by testing our manhood. Again, see if this sounds familiar.

“Oh, so you gonna let him (or them) talk to me that way, for real though? What’s wrong with you? Oh, so you some kind of punk now?”

I kept it clean only because we know often times expletives are often used in the exchange of the word punk.

Black men must understand that some black women aren’t worth saving; (say it again) especially if she’s not your wife!! We put and importance on how many women we can sleep with (or at least lie about how many we sleep with) like it’s some badge of honor that makes us men. I personally know men who’s in their 50’s who still brag about their feminine “escapades” and would clown you if you don’t have something similar or give don’t props to it.

Some say this was something “conditioned” during slavery because the black male was used in breeding. I would agree, however, but that reasoning or theory is not complete. Black people have had a history of worshiping or exalting our reproductive organs and if you don’t believe me check out the story of Nimrod and a plethora of others. The Americanized black, however, has had this abnormal affair with idolizing our mothers and as a result; we define our manhood from the eyes of a woman. Think about it. How come black women can tell us what a “real” man is better than a black man? Furthermore, ask the average black man what a real man is? I will guarantee you it will sound like it’s from a black woman’s perspective or the stereotypes that’s permeated from the media, entertainment, and our community in general. I understand there are some literal deadbeats out there who have children for, whatever the reason, don’t want to be involved in their children’s lives. But to be honest, based off the over 70% black single parent homes, you can’t conclude that over 70% of black men are horrible Fathers (another story for another blog). Now I know if there’s a black man reading this he will probably ask, “Then why don’t you tell me what’s a real black man?” My brother, I could only give my honest opinion about what a real black man is. However, it’s not in conjunction with the aforementioned things I addressed earlier. Black men should prioritize on becoming a husband and a Father more than becoming your typical player. We as African–Americans love the church, but hate reading the bible; which would do us well especially when it comes to reading Proverbs 31. You know that chapter in the bible that makes black women feel good, yet many fail to live up too. Anyways, black men please stop letting “that thing, that thing, that thiiiing,” between a black woman’s legs define you. Maybe Lauryn Hill was trying to give a hidden message in her song Doo-Wop (That Thing).

Lauryn-Hill

Maybe it didn’t just apply to the women fellas.

Peace and Love.


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Thug Lovin: “Black Women’s Undying Love For Thugs.”

1000wIt’s no secret that black women or women in general, are attracted to a man with some kind of power or influence. Whether it’s your prestigious entrepreneur, entertainer, politician or congress men, even down to your local pastor; women love a man with a position of power. Kind of ironic those feminist women crave power disguised as equality; but then turn around and say they want a guy with some sort of “status?” But that’s another story for another day. What I want to deal with is the fascination that black women have for thugs. Even one of the most respected female emcees, MC Lyte, had to pay homage back in the day with the song, “Ruff Neck.” It actually happened to be one her biggest records by the way. However, what I want to do is to try to understand the psychology that women have when it comes to the coveted “bad boy” persona.

I’ve heard many black women say, “I need a guy who can handle me,” and when I was in my early 20’s I used to believe this nonsense. Yes, nonsense is what I call it now because after experiencing what most would call, the “typical black woman attitude,” I was often left feeling like I was the punk. And for any black woman who is reading this and saying to themselves, “He must of been messing with those ratchet hood chicks.” Well you’re correct, to a degree. I was just so intrigued with the Shaneeka’s, Lakeisha’s, and the Phaedra’s of the world, that they were of more of a challenge to me dating wise. My psyche was that if I could handle my next ‘EEKA,’ I could handle all black women.

Man was I wrong.

I eventually snapped out of liking those tough-talking, neck-moving, foul-mouthed, females. Like most men, I was drawn to these women because of their physical appearance, feistiness, and strength; also known as the “Strong Black Woman” mystique. So why am I being so retrospective in telling you this? Probably because when the black woman chooses the “thug,” she chooses them because of the look and the boldness. Funny how that happens, huh?tumblr_lkqyruvnBD1qdwh1so1_500

Black women choose the thug (or say they do) because they want security; they lust at the thugged-out appearance as a symbol of masculinity, and want to indulge in the often alluded stereotype that comes with bad boys: sexual gratification. This sexually based relationship (because that’s what it really is) ends up in the long run filled with multiple children, child support cases, parental (Father) abandonment, domestic violence, and worst death. From Yolanda to Senequa (yes, I know a woman by that name) time and time again, black women will go back to Daquan even after he’s done all kinds of evil to them. They actually believe the ‘thug’ represents the epitome of masculinity and power; the apex in their distorted, yet twisted “Knight in Shining Armor” mentality. Sadly, most of these women end up with the guy that I call the “Neo-thug.” The neo-thug doesn’t even have to prove or have street cred to be considered your typical thug anymore. He’s the guy who gets all of his thuggisms from movies and rap videos. He’ll make claims that he’s in a gang, but doesn’t have a set. He’s affiliated, but doesn’t participate in gang-related activities. He’s the guy who petty hustles, wants to be the next big rap star, tells a lot of “war stories” (which no one knows except him) and is allergic to a job application. Yet despite all of these traits; if he looks the part, black women will swoop him up even to the extent that she’ll let him live with her.

Another reason why black women are attracted to thugs is the element of control; and how they don’t have it over him. Black women will usually say “I don’t want no man I can control because I’ll walk all over him,” when in reality they do. In regards to the thug, however, they have both their fantasy and they have their challenge. They love the element of being put in check and wanting to have control at the same time! Unfortunately, with the thug you can never control him. You only get tired of him or exchange him for another one. Furthermore, the dilemma gets deeper when she attempts to make her thug into her own “science project.” Whether it’s the parolee straight from prison or the one who’s on his way there; black women will snatch him up out of curiosity or out of their desire to be nurturers. Unfortunately, most black women live off the exception not the rule, when it comes to dating the “bad boy.” And the rule is that many of these ‘boys’ do not change. Simply stated, if the school system, his parents, counseling, the juvenile and correctional facilities couldn’t rehabilitate him; neither can you.strong-black-beautiful-woman

The obsession many black women have with the street dude often creates a legacy of issues which has paralyzed the black community. As I’ve previously mentioned above, the fatherless-ness that is often created from dating the thug has more consequences than black women realize; especially when you start talking about it on a psychological level. Most of these “hood dudes” have behavioral issues and suffer from conduct (antisocial) disorders of which; are hardly ever resolved when they reach adulthood. Many have experienced some form of trauma; which can include verbal, mental, sexual and physical abuse. Once adults, they virtually carry on and become who their fathers were; even if the Father was never present in their lives. Likewise, the daughters also grow up and see their mothers date the same guys and often follow in their mother’s footsteps as well. As a matter of fact, some black women are now starting to emulate the very same thug they desire. Even though I used to be attracted to the “EEKA’S” of the world; these new thuggish-sounding, tatted up having, quick to fight anybody, type of female is just too much! I’m not even talking about the “studs” (another story for another blog) but these are black females who are attracted to black males.  Would I be wrong in saying let the battle of hyper-masculinity, begin?

In closing, I know some black women (and men) will read this post and will probably say “This ol’ lame @*% Negro…” and probably some other expletives and slurs; and will miss my point of this blog. It’s not just the hood chic that’s doing this, but it’s the career oriented, highly-educated and well-spoken ones too. I only wrote this blog because I’ve personally know women who are currently dating these men and think nothing of it. In an effort to be better people, we must first speak up on issues and past failures so we can grow as a people and not make the same mistakes. I’m not saying we are to totally turn our backs on black men who have experienced a trouble childhood or have a criminal past. However, black women must understand that the only way you can help a man like that is to let him help himself. Just remember black women the next thug you end up dealing with could very well spark another generation of convicts, absentee fathers, behaviorally challenged kids, and YOU living with the consequences and regrets. Don’t waist all of your good years seeking a thrill or chasing a fantasy. Because reality will hit you one day and you may not like what you see.240px-JaRuleThugLovin'Video

 

 


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“Why, Black Men, Why?”

skinny_jeans

There seems to be ominous plot  to not only effeminize the black man, but to get rid of his masculinity altogether. It seems like the media, the music industry and Hollywood is steadily promoting the gender-less, integrated black man, who doesn’t mind “fitting in” just to be socially accepted. This should sound familiar to the African-American public because this is precisely (in a way) what happened to black people after the Civil Rights movement. We wanted to be socially acceptable. Now we have a plethora of black entertainers (some who I’ve admired growing up) are simply falling into the go along to get along crowd. For the record, I have no disdain, dislike or hatred towards gay people at all. I could go on to tell you that I have gay relatives (just like most people) however, I’m a Christian so you should know very well what my position is in regards to the lifestyle. See, I’m not really directing my frustration towards gay people at all. My issue lies with the gender confusion that our society (as a whole)is perpetuating; especially involving African-American men.

As many people are aware, this whole ‘effeminate’ culture on the mainstream level started several years ago when black men were adopting a European, Metro-sexual look. It began with the rebirth of the “rock-star”  image, started by rappers such as Lil’ Wayne. It was a throwback clothing wise to what the American rock-stars were doing in the 70’s and 80’s-minus the female hair styles, of course. Then it took a turn into a different direction when black men (and women) started to embrace the ever-so-docile, “nerd” look. Not saying being smart and educated is bad, however, last time I checked the nerd look wasn’t to fly in the 80’s and 90’s. It is what it is; however, we now have a new day that has dawned upon the African-American community. Forget Robin Hood, now black men are not only in tights, but skirts and dresses.

In Hollywood, several black entertainers have ‘dressed’ themselves up as women for years. Actor-Comedian Flip Wilson was one of the originators of dressing in comedic drag, which lead to several other black entertainers such as Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy and Jamie Foxx  to follow suit. Writer-Director and Actor, Tyler Perry has amassed millions of dollars from his Madea character in which he himself portrays and dresses like a woman. It seems like Hollywood doesn’t mind giving out these roles to black actors, and black men certainly don’t mind making or acting in them. Yet I will give them a proverbial pass because hey, even I was entertained by Sheneneh, back in the day. My issue is nowadays you have black men participating in effeminate behavior while claiming to be masculine men. Entertainers such as Kanye West, Pharrell and most recently, Omar Epps, who on his latest appearance on ABC’s The View, had the skirt and skinny jeans flowing. Say it isn’t so Q.

The effeminization of the African-American male is no longer a myth or something to speculate upon. It has become a full-blown reality. I’m not trying to be rude, but what has happened to the masculine African-American male? When did it become ‘socially correct’ for black men to have some sort of unisex outlook in regards to his clothes and overall appearance? Black women, has this become the standard of the 2014 African-American male? I’ve heard of us men getting in touch with our feminine side; however, I wasn’t aware we had to act like one to do it.

Omar's skirt Continue reading “Why, Black Men, Why?”