“The Negro Homo-Shame”

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Before you even begin to think this article is going to be filled with disparagingly, unfavorable, remarks towards the people in the LGBT community; I would strongly advise you to be like Brand Nubian and “Slow Down.” As a matter of fact, if you’re taking the time to read this article (thank you btw!) what I have to address might just be for you. As a social commentator, blogger, and future author, I run across all kinds of different trends, styles, and stay up-to-date on current social and political events. If I read an article or watch a video that interest me, I immediately give my honest (and sometimes informed) opinion and I keep it moving like U-Haul trucks. And of course you’ll have people who will like what you’ve said, question what you’ve said, or disagree with what you’ve said. All of the three, I am completely fine with. However, when it comes to discussing pivotal issues involving the lives’ of African-Americans, there seems to be an unofficial code of conduct that we all must think the same because you’re black. Now if you were to venture out and break this code—by having your own opinion—you might as well declare yourself an enemy of black America because you’ve just became a sell-out. You become a sell-out if you simply say anything to black America about black America or as some people put it “throwing your race under the bus.” For instance, if you were to speak critical about anything involving hip-hop, murder rates amongst blacks, the lack of black unity, ghetto culture, anything that goes against the narrative of victimization; you are immediately met with a bevy of insults and expletives. You’re called a self-hater; your mother should be ashamed of you (note: this only happens when people think you’re generalizing all black women) and you’re repeating white supremacist ideology and rhetoric. While all of these things are sure enough to happen to you in a conversation or in a post on social media; there is one insult that seems to trump them all (or at least that’s what the intent is). I call it: “Negro Homo Shaming.”

I must submit to you that when I thought of the term “homo-shaming” it was when I heard about the story involving actor-singer, Tyrese Gibson, and famed Wild-N-Out comedian, Spanky Hayes. What happened in this story is seems to be quite common these days when again, for whatever reason, there is faction of black heterosexual (allegedly) dudes who think it’s okay to shame another person by calling them gay. Such is the case when a few weeks ago comedian Spanky Hayes insinuated that Gibson performed gay sexual acts on an executive to receive the lead role in John Singleton’s movie, “Baby Boy.” Now when I first heard about this I immediately knew it wasn’t true because I’ve seen countless interviews with the film’s director [Singleton] in which he stated that the movie was originally written for rapper-actor, Tupac Shakur. It was only after when Shakur passed away that Singleton offered Gibson the lead role. But with that being said, why would a grown man (who goes by the name of Spanky btw) tell such a heinous lie in an attempt to slander another man? Well according to reports, he did it for “attention” and publicity and despite having no way of proving Tyrese is gay; he just made it up because he felt like it. I know some of you right now are wondering where I’m going with this story but trust me I’m going to get to my point. I know some of you might think I’m jumping into phone booths only to emerge as a caped-crusader with the letters L.G.B.T. across my chest, lol! I assure you that is NOT the case! However, it is because of the spanky’s of the world who feel in order to diss or shame someone; you do it by calling them gay, f-boy, or f-n-word. I mean, I was seeing these grotesque words used so much in the blogosphere it was literally making me sick—or so I thought. Not only do these “spankies” call you all kinds of homosexual slurs; but nowadays, these spankies go into graphic, sexually explicit details! And all of this done by (allegedly) heterosexual black males; who if you speak about the social ills in the black community; whether it be rap music, black crime, ghetto culture anything that brings shame towards black folk; you’re a faggot. Also, before I move on, I would be remissed if I didn’t mention that black women have also been guilty of homo-shaming as well. Again, for the sista who might be reading this and thinking “he’s making a blanket statement about black women,” trust me I’m not. But in black women’s defense, I’ve yet to hear them be so explicit in describing certain acts in a way to demean someone; so this is really exclusively targeted towards addressing black men. So p.s., thank you for not rolling your eyes ladies!

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But seriously folks, the reason why I wrote this article is because have we really made the homosexual the “standard” of shame and ignominy? Look, I would be the first one to tell you that I disagree with the lifestyle so go ahead and just call me some black Christian conservative (no republican or democrat here) who agrees with traditional marriage. Although, I could counter by saying being a “black” Christian these days is more controversial but that’s another story for another day. But as of November 2014, 36 states have recognized same-sex marriage in the United States. So regardless how you or I may feel consciously or have some conviction about this subject; America has nearly embraced this controversial lifestyle with tolerant arms. A lifestyle or being more politically correct, a “sexual orientation,” that has inadvertently affected us one way or another. I have family members who adhere to that way of life and yet I love them despite my own personal beliefs. Yes, there was a time when I scoffed at and even ridiculed gay people until the struggle hit home personally. But with that said; don’t get it twisted. I still call out some of this metrosexual dressing, black male emasculating, wearing skirts like its proper-like nonsense I see being promoted by rappers and NBA basketball players. But that’s just the man in me and will continue to be until the day I kiss the dirt. But I guess my point is, because many of us have family members who endorse this lifestyle then who are we to make it the definitive demarcation of absolute shame? I understand (especially as a black man) how the stigma of being gay in the black community and how real that life is. There are several factors (both socially and religiously) that play into this extreme distain of a lifestyle–or is it? It seems like it was all good just a week ago when you wanted the gay dude to direct your choir or “preeeaaach” that sermon. And ladies, you seem to have no problem befriending these people and having them accessorize everything from your hair, nails, to your latest outfit. But y’all didn’t hear that from me though. Heck, I can remember growing up watching the television series “In Living Color,” where they had several sets of men either dressing like women or men (Damon Wayans and David Alan Grier) playing roles as homosexual “menz” themselves. You don’t even want me to mention how much of this homo-shaming is prevalent in hip-hop music; both past AND present. Yet you still have a segment of black men who if they don’t like what you say, are quick to tell you suck this or eat that like Negro are you for real? All of this because you can’t elocute your words when you disagree with someone?  Well, if that’s the case, the next time you run into your gay family member and lie to yourself by saying “those people are fags but you’re cool because you’re family.” There are a cluster of issues in which the African-American community can and should be ashamed about these days; I just don’t think a sexual preference or attraction should no longer be one of them. Just remember when you “homo-shame” other people; you’re really talking about someone you know as well.

Peace and love y’all.


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